So the story always begins somewhere and for me it was when I started dating this particular girl and she opened my eyes up to the possibility.
Now, I had never thought of myself as polyamorous – or anything but monogamous. I had never been one to date around or see multiple girls at the same time. I hadn’t necessarily been brought up as monogamous but my teen years saw the birth of the HIV/AIDS epidemic so sex was definitely something that was now “dangerous”.
And then I started dating one particular girl (the same girl who has now been a part of daily life for 22 years). Everything had been pretty normal up to this point – normal dating behaviors, great sex, and we genuinely enjoyed each others company. And then one day she dropped a question on me:
Her: What would you think about dating other people?
Me: Are you breaking up with me?
Her: Oh God no!
Me: So I could date other people too?
Her: Of course.
Me: Hmmm… OK.
And that was it. We now had an “open relationship”! We didn’t call it “polyamory” then as the word didn’t even exist! We were just doing something that felt comfortable to us.
Of course, it wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. We definitely hit our fair share of snags and speed bumps. We had tons of rules and as happens – those rules caused problems. But we worked through them and figured out what worked for us.
Today, we’ve been together for 22 years – I’ve actually been with her for more than half of my life. We enjoy the company of each other as well as those people that we date. I can’t say that I would have ever predicted that I would be “poly” but today, I can’t imagine it being any other way.